REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
' If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning. '

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
' You better pray that will come out of the carpet. '

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
' If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week! '

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why. '

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
' If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me. '

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
' Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident. '
~*~