New Hat...

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship   
holding her hat tightly   
so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,   
"Pardon me, madam.   
I do not intend to be forward   
but did you know that your dress   
is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady.   
"I need both my hands   
to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are   
not wearing any panties   
and your private parts are exposed!"   
said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down,   
then back up at the man   
and replied,   
"Sir, anything you see down there   
is 85 years old.   
I just bought this hat yesterday!"